I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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