so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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