i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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