talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize