never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
