I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
