You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
