No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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