What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize