This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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