he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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