Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
PANTIES FOUND
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
