i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
