i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
