I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
