When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize