she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
