I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
