I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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