so that wasnt chicken after all
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Sacagawea was the original milf.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
