On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
