There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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