Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
