Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
