So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
