At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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