whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
