just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
