ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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