Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize