So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
