After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
