if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
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