You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
