So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
