yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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