There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize