video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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