I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
