At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
