shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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