Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
