You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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