Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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