Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
