He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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