People in love make me want to vomit
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
