Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize