I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i now understand why vodka
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
