Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
