Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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