Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
