So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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