check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
