Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
