So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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