do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
