you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
