You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
