so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
